Once Shattered, Twice Shy Page 8
He was right.
“HOW ARE you doing this evening?” Joe asked as he entered Wade’s bedroom.
“I’ve been better,” said Wade with a weary smile. “I’m still mortified about last night.”
“Why?”
“I’d have preferred you not see me kneeling over a toilet dry-heaving every hour on the hour all night long.”
“You were suffering the aftereffects of anesthesia. It’s not like you were some stupid frat boy who drank too much and was hurling after a night on Fraternity Row.”
“It’s not the most dignified position to be seen in. I’m used to taking care of myself and being alone in these situations.”
“I know.” Joe smiled. “We’ve talked about this before. You have got to let someone in and help you. No one can do it all on their own. Is there anything I can get you?”
“No, thanks.” Wade sat on the edge of the bed and carefully planted his feet on the floor before standing. Joe instinctively took a step forward and put out an arm to make sure Wade was steady getting up. Wade smiled, and Joe felt a flush of warmth. “I ate while Tina was here, and I’ve got a glass of water in the study already. My nap wasn’t productive, so I thought we could watch some TV.”
Joe stood close behind Wade as they walked out of the bedroom and across the landing to the study. He turned on the television. Wade sat down on the sofa.
“Have you tried pillows?” Joe asked.
“For what?”
“To try to help you sleep. Sometimes you can sleep better if you’re propped up a bit more rather than lying flat.”
“I tried that when I first had the accident. We don’t have enough pillows to prop me up properly,” Wade answered, “We’d have to add sofa cushions and stuff, and that’s just too much hassle. I’d probably need a board or something firm to hold me up better anyway.”
“I thought you might have had trouble sleeping, so I brought you a surprise,” Joe said.
“Propofol?”
“No!” Joe laughed, “Something even better. It’s in my overnight bag. I’ll be right back.”
Joe went into Sheila’s bedroom and returned with a plastic container. He opened the lid with a flourish. “Brownies!”
“Oh my god!” said Wade with a tired laugh. “You are hilarious! When did you make these?”
“This afternoon. When I left this morning, I went home, slept awhile, then baked the brownies. While they cooled I went into the office to check in with Pat. I got the ingredients last week. I figured you’d need them.”
“You are too wonderful!” said Wade, “Can I have one now?”
“Whenever you like,” said Joe. He held out the container for Wade to take a brownie.
“Would you like one too?” Wade offered.
“Not this time. I need to be alert to watch out for you.” Joe bent down to put the brownies in the mini fridge.
“Promise me that when my arm is better, you’ll have some brownies with me.”
“I promise.” Joe smiled. “Is there anything in particular that you want to watch on TV?”
“Not really. I’d rather watch a DVD and avoid commercials.”
Joe looked at the cabinet with the DVDs and said, “What are you in the mood for? A movie or a television series?”
“Something that lasts awhile, so I don’t have to move.”
Joe scanned the spines of the DVD covers and came to a halt halfway down. “How about Lord of the Rings? That should last a good long while, especially in a multidisc player.”
“Perfect.”
Joe got the DVDs, put them into the player, and settled on the sofa next to Wade. He could see how tired and weary Wade was, and he felt again that tug in his heart. He wanted to hug Wade and find some way to comfort him.
They watched the movie in silence for an hour before Joe noticed Wade’s head starting to bob up and down. “Do you want to go lie down?” he asked.
Wade perked up for a second and said, “No. No, it’s no good. Lying down doesn’t help. I like your idea of reclining, but I don’t know how that could work.”
Joe looked at Wade for a moment and decided to take a risk. “I have an idea. That is, if you’re okay with it.”
“What is it?’
“Well,” Joe spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. “I could prop myself up a bit with a few pillows at this end of the sofa, and you could lie against me.” He paused to gauge Wade’s reaction, but Wade’s face showed nothing but overtiredness. “You would have stronger support than with just pillows, and I would make certain you didn’t fall off the couch….”
“It’s… it’s worth a try,” said Wade. “You don’t think I’d crush you? I mean, I’ll probably have my full weight against you.”
“Not at all.”
“Well, if you don’t mind, we can give it a shot.”
Wade stood up as Joe hurriedly arranged some pillows at one end of the sofa. He sat down and tried them out to make sure his head was supported. Then he moved the coffee table so he could keep the glass of water in reach, along with the remotes for the TV and DVD player. He noticed Wade looked amused during this flurry of activity and wondered if it was because he was secretly looking forward to the cuddle or if it was merely the brownie taking effect. Joe sat down again in position and held out his arms. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Wade hesitated before walking to the edge of the sofa. Joe parted his long legs so Wade could nestle between them. He carefully lowered himself onto the sofa and wiggled and jostled a bit to get in the right position before leaning back onto Joe’s chest.
“Not too heavy, am I?” Wade asked, “I don’t want to crush your chest and stop you breathing.”
“Knock it off. You’re fine.” Joe gently rapped Wade on the thigh. “Just get comfortable.”
Wade leaned back and Joe experienced a thrill in his chest as he felt the weight of this tall man against his torso, his head under Joe’s chin. It felt so good to be holding someone again. Someone he liked. Someone he loved. He put his arms around Wade’s waist and made sure one arm was under Wade’s cast to support it and take the weight off the sling that pulled on Wade’s shoulder.
“Do you charge extra for this?” Wade asked with a chuckle.
“No. This service is on the house,” said Joe.
“Much obliged.”
Joe responded by lightly rubbing Wade’s good arm. It was such a natural gesture he did not realize he was doing it at first, but as Wade made no objection, he continued. As they watched the movie in silence, Joe could feel the tension in Wade suddenly release and heard his breathing become shallow and steady. He was glad that Wade was able to get some proper rest. He was glad that Wade was open to the idea at all. But mostly he was glad that Wade had fallen asleep quickly, so he would not feel Joe’s uncontrollable erection against his back.
WADE SLOWLY came to consciousness. He started to move, but realized he was on the sofa lying on Joe, not in bed. Glancing around he saw the television was off. The clock said 4:20 a.m. Joe’s left arm was still supporting Wade’s cast, while his right arm was around Wade’s waist, resting on his stomach. Wade gently placed his hand over Joe’s and slowly moved it down over his own crotch. He smiled to himself and fell back asleep.
IN THE morning, Wade awoke feeling more rested than he had in ages. He felt so comfortable in Joe’s arms. It seemed so natural to have them around his waist. Wade wriggled a little and suspected there might be morning wood pressing against his back.
Joe woke suddenly and squeezed his hands, one of which was still on Wade’s crotch. Wade enjoyed the sensation and said, “Good morning to you too!”
Joe convulsed in surprise and Wade’s suspicions were confirmed.
“Sorry, I wasn’t fully awake yet,” Joe stammered.
“Not a problem,” said Wade as he sat up and moved to face Joe. “Thanks for last night. I slept better than I have in a while.”
“I did too,” said Joe. He glanced at the wall clock and said, “W
e should get ready for your physical therapy session.”
“I can’t believe I forgot to set an alarm,” said Wade. “You can use the guest bathroom downstairs while I get ready up here.”
“Let me cover your cast first, so it doesn’t get wet in the shower.”
“They’re gonna take it off when I get to PT.”
“I know, but you don’t want water in there.” Joe started to put the bag on Wade’s arm, then stopped and said, “This needs to come off first.” He began unbuttoning Wade’s shirt.
Wade blushed, but stood still and let Joe take his shirt off. Joe did it so quickly that Wade assumed he did this all the time with patients. He felt his breathing get a little heavier and he wished Joe would run his fingers through his chest hair and play with his nipples. He thrust his chest out a little more and noticed Joe’s eyes move up and down his torso. Joe sounded flustered when he said, “Let me know if you need help after your shower,” before rushing out of the room.
As a result, Wade thought about many things while he showered. He had just finished dressing when Joe knocked on his bedroom door and asked if he was doing okay.
“Sort of,” Wade answered through the door.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Dr. Douglass said that I’ll be in PT for at least a year.”
“Yes.”
“And it’s my sincere hope that you’ll take me to my PT sessions.”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, that creates a problem.”
“What problem?” Joe said.
Wade paused for a full fifteen seconds before plunging forward. “The problem is that these past four months getting to know you have been extraordinary, and I’ve developed feelings for you and I can’t spend the next year being this close to you without saying anything. It’s not just that I find you attractive and I want to make love to you in every way possible. I like you as a person, and I’ve been happier than I’ve been in ages because you’re in my life now. I know I’m probably an idiot for thinking you’re even remotely interested in me other than as a client, and that this is all just transference like Sheila said, because I’m vulnerable and you’re a caregiver, and that when my arm is healed you’ll move on to other injured people, but even so I have to say something because I feel like, if nothing else, we’re friends enough to be honest with each other and I can’t bear the thought of being so near you for the next year and not telling you that I’ve fallen in love with you….”
There was silence on both sides of the door. Then Wade saw the doorknob turn, and he took a step back. When the door opened, Joe was looking at him with a beaming smile. He walked up to Wade and held his good hand. With the other hand, Joe tenderly caressed the back of Wade’s head and gently pulled him closer.
“I love you too,” he said, smiling as their lips met.
About the Author
BENJAMIN DAHLBECK has worked most of his life as an actor and singer, but went back to school in his 30s and earned a BPhil in writing from Northwestern University. He then went on to earn a Masters at the University of Edinburgh where, between studies and visiting castles and Mary, Queen of Scots sites, he also performed at the Fringe Festival in a revival of the 16th Century Scottish play, Philotus. A scholar of the Tudor and Victorian eras, Benjamin freely admits to being behind the times technologically (he prefers the better reception of landlines, but does have a flip phone). He loves old books, old movies, and cold weather. He speaks Swedish and can stumble through French. He hopes you enjoy reading his stories. If so, you may contact him at b.dahlbeckauthor@gmail.com.
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Copyright
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Once Shattered, Twice Shy
© 2014 Benjamin Dahlbeck.
Cover Art
© 2014 Catt Ford.
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
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Digital ISBN: 978-1-63216-123-9
First Edition November 2014
Printed in the United States of America