Once Shattered, Twice Shy Read online

  “Thank you,” replied Wade. “At least you won’t have to amputate.”

  Dr. Douglass smiled and said, “Take it easy and move as little as possible for the next week.” He turned to Joe. “Are you family?”

  “I run a health care assistance agency. I’m also a licensed nurse.”

  “I see. Will you be helping him regularly?”

  “Yes.”

  “Someone from his office will be,” Wade interjected.

  “Good,” said Dr. Douglass. “You’ll need help so you can stay immobile and rest.”

  He said good-bye, and Deirdre came in to escort them back up to the front. Wade could feel the lump in his throat as he choked back tears. He was not going to break down in the doctor’s office.

  JOE OBSERVED the difference in Wade’s demeanor as they stood in the lobby. He felt compassion for this tall man who looked so very slumped and defeated. They rode the elevator in silence.

  Once they were back on the road, Joe said, “I know this seems hopeless, but it’s great you’ve got movement in your fingers. That’s a really positive sign.” They were at a stoplight, so he turned to look directly at Wade. “Seriously, that is a really good sign.”

  Wade looked at Joe. “Thank you,” Wade sighed. “At least I now know what I’ll be doing for the next year or two.”

  Joe smiled and did not even realize that he had reached out with his right hand to give Wade a comforting pat on the leg, but he could see Wade noticed.

  The rest of the drive back home was uneventful. Wade’s mother was waiting in the kitchen when they arrived, and Wade told her all that the doctor said. She was very upset by the whole diagnosis, but Joe explained everything to her in very positive terms, and she was comforted.

  “Well, just hearing about this has exhausted me,” Lorraine joked. “I’m going to go take a nap.”

  She said good-bye to Joe and headed to her room. Once she was out of earshot, Wade said, “I appreciate you taking the time to explain all this to Mom. She’s been so anxious. I’m glad she’s calmer.”

  “No problem.”

  An awkward silence followed as Wade and Joe stood in the kitchen, staring at the floor, the ceiling, anything but each other before Joe asked, “Is there anything else you need me to do?”

  “I don’t think so,” Wade answered. “Getting me to the doctor was the main thing.”

  Joe glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s only been three hours. You know we have a four-hour minimum, so if there’s anything else you’d like me to assist you with, I’m yours to use as you will.” He mentally smacked himself on the forehead for saying something so stupid and blatantly double entendre, but his eyes bugged out of his head when Wade responded, “Come on up to my bedroom, then.”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You can help me change the bed linens. It’s a king-size bed. I can’t do it on my own.”

  “Oh, right. Of course.” Joe felt a total fool.

  “Let me show you the house while we’re at it.” Wade led Joe into the dining room and then through the living room into the front hall. “Here’s the den, which connects back to the kitchen.” He pointed with his right arm down the hallway. “At the end here is the master bedroom and bathroom. To the right under the stairs is the guest bathroom. To the left is Mom’s office. It was originally a nursery for when my sister and I were born so that Mom and Dad didn’t have to run upstairs to check on the baby. Once we were each old enough, we moved upstairs to our bedrooms.”

  “It’s very nice,” Joe said as Wade led him up the stairs.

  At the top of the stairs was a large bureau in front of a window that allowed light into the hallway. There was a black-and-white photo of a woman in a black dress with a long string of white pearls.

  “Is that Louise Brooks?” asked Joe.

  “Yes, it is,” Wade answered with surprise. “How did you know that?”

  “I like silent movies,” said Joe, “I always make sure to tape Silent Sundays on TCM.”

  “Me too. When I lived in Chicago, I used to go to the Silent Summer Film Festivals at this great old theater that has a large balcony section and this huge organ built next to the stage. They show six films each summer, and at least one has a live orchestra to accompany the film. It was so much fun.”

  “Sounds like it. Who did you go with?”

  “No one,” said Wade matter-of-factly. “None of my friends were that interested. The guy who told me about the festivals to begin with was gonna go with me each week, but he got a job in San Francisco before the festival began that year, so I went alone. I’d go early and sit in the front row of the balcony. It was great.”

  “It’s a shame you didn’t have anyone to enjoy those films with.” Joe would gladly have gone with Wade.

  “Yeah, well.” Wade shrugged with his right shoulder. “What can you do? If I’d waited to have someone to do things with, I’d’ve never seen any movies or plays or done anything at all. I’ve been to Europe by myself several times. It was fun.”

  “You went to Europe alone?” Joe asked with genuine admiration.

  “Yep. Mainly northern Europe and Scandinavia.”

  “I’d be scared to death to be alone in a country where I didn’t speak the language.”

  “It didn’t bother me. I had some phrase books and would read up on things. People were very friendly and helpful, and I’m good with gestures. It certainly gave me practice for when I’d go to parties and play charades!”

  Joe laughed.

  “This first room is my sister Sheila’s bedroom,” Wade said, continuing the tour. He turned a corner to the left and said, “That door at the end of the hall is the attic space. Here on the left is our old playroom. It’s really an upstairs den for me now, although we call it the study.”

  He led Joe into the room, and Joe saw a wall of shelves packed with books. There were two cabinets filled with DVDs and CDs. A large, comfortable-looking sofa was against the wall opposite the television, with a small refrigerator next to it. An office desk with computer and telephone was by the window.

  “This must’ve been a great playroom when y’all were kids,” Joe said.

  “Yes. It was nice to have space indoors to play where we were out of earshot and eyeshot of my father.”

  “Was he not a nice man?” Joe asked, adding, “I don’t mean to pry.”

  “No, no, it’s fine. He was a raging alcoholic,” Wade said. “The only kind thing he did for this family was to die of cancer when I was a senior in high school. He was a very cruel man. It’s probably why my sister is on her third marriage.”

  “Where does she live?”

  “In southern California, outside of Los Angeles. Her main goal in life at the moment is to get on one of those Real Housewives shows,” Wade said with resignation.

  “Oh, dear.”

  “Yeah, well,” Wade made a one-shouldered shrug again.

  Joe was scanning the shelves as Wade talked and he said, “You’ve got some great stuff here.”

  “Thanks. I love a lot of these British murder mysteries and the Britcoms. And movies from the twenties through the forties.”

  Joe bent over to look at some of the movie titles, and when he stood up, he thought he caught Wade looking at his backside.

  Wade darted his eyes in another direction and said rather too loudly, “Anyway, across the hall is my room.”

  He exited the study, and Joe followed him. The bedroom was large enough to hold a king-size bed and some furniture but still have open space. Two windows on the wall opposite the door looked out over the backyard.

  “That’s the bathroom at that end.” Wade pointed to a door at the far right of the room. “It connects to my sister’s room.”

  “This is a nice house. You could almost convert it into a two-flat if you needed to.”

  “It does help that I feel like I’ve got my own space. Taking care of Mom is something I’m glad to do, but it’s nice to have a small area to call my own.”
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  “I live in a two-flat,” Joe said as he went over to the bed to remove the bedspread.

  Wade moved to help him, and Joe reminded him that light housework was part of the general service they provided. Wade stood to one side and watched as Joe removed the sheets and pillowcases.

  “It’s on a little side street called Esme’s Trail. There’s an actual trail leading from the end of the street through some trees and behind some shops to connect to Canton St. in downtown Roswell.”

  “That must be nice for those Alive After 5 events they have,” said Wade. “You don’t have to worry about parking.”

  “Yes,” said Joe, “have you ever been to one?”

  “Not yet,” said Wade.

  “They’re fun,” said Joe. Trying to sound casual he added, “We should go sometime.”

  Wade had turned to cover his mouth as he yawned. The day’s unexpected turns had used up the last reserves of his already diminished energy.

  Joe finished stripping the bed, so Wade showed him where the clothes hamper was and directed him to the linen closet near the attic door to get the clean sheets. Joe made the bed and put the comforter back on top.

  “There you are,” Joe said as he clapped his hands together, “all fresh and clean for a good night’s sleep.”

  “If only,” said Wade. “I hope it’ll help.”

  “Do you want me to take the other linens downstairs to the washing machine?”

  Joe noticed Wade hesitate before he replied, “Yes, please.”

  They went downstairs, and Joe put the linens in the washing machine.

  “Now, let whoever comes next time help you with the laundry,” Joe said. “You can’t carry anything up and down those stairs, and you’ve said your mother can’t either. So let us help you. That’s what we’re here for.”

  “I know,” said Wade, “and I’m glad. It’s going to be an adjustment for me. I’m having more difficulty accepting help than I care to admit.”

  “They say doctors make the worst patients, but I think we can add tall, solo-traveler-to-Europe guys to the list as well,” said Joe with a smile.

  “Ha-ha,” said Wade, but he was glad for the joke. “Should I go ahead and book you guys for my doctor appointments? I’ll be going at the same time for the next few weeks.”

  “Sure,” said Joe, “If you know the days and times, I can write them down now and put them into the computer when I get back to the office.”

  Wade gave him the sheet the receptionist had printed out with his appointments on it, and Joe bent over the counter by the phone to copy them down on a Post-it note. Wade also asked if someone could come for him on another day so he could grocery shop and do laundry and any other necessary errands. Joe wrote down those times as well.

  “I’ll call you later to confirm all these times and to let you know who’ll be coming,” he said as he stood to leave.

  “Thank you so much for your help. I appreciate it,” Wade said.

  “I’m sorry for your injury, but it was nice to meet you,” Joe said.

  “You too.” Wade stuck out his right hand.

  Joe shook Wade’s hand and noticed the firm grip as well as the fact that Wade held his hand for a little longer than normal. When he turned to open the back door, he accidentally kicked it with his foot. He blushed and moved quickly out the door.

  WADE STOOD at the storm door and waved through the glass to Joe as he got in his car. He closed the door and smiled to himself. Joe had nice, strong hands. He had a kind manner. He was really cute.

  Snap out of it! The guy is the boss. He was here today because of the short notice of your appointments. Now that you’ve got a regular schedule, you won’t see him again. You’ll see the regular staff.

  Wade got a Diet Coke and sat down in the den while the washing machine churned away.

  WADE SPENT another rough night sleeping in fits and starts. He had no idea how he was going to deal with this. The road to recovery loomed long and lonely ahead of him.

  He had just dragged himself downstairs to the den when the phone rang. His mother answered. He heard her speak for a moment before she came and handed him the cordless.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Wade? It’s Joe.”

  “Oh, hi,” Wade perked up. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. How are you?”

  “Fine, thanks.”

  “I was calling to let you know that we have all of your doctor’s visits on the schedule as well as the extra day each week for your errands.”

  “That’s a relief. Will Tina be taking me?”

  “Actually,” Joe paused, then blurted out rapidly, “I’ll be the one helping you out.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I hope that’s all right.”

  “Yes, yes, that’s fine,” Wade spluttered.

  “Great,” said Joe. “I’ll see you next week.”

  “I look forward to it,” said Wade, hoping he did not sound like an eager idiot.

  “Me too,” said Joe, echoing Wade’s tone.

  WADE SAW Joe’s car roll down the driveway a few minutes before the appointed time. When Joe had called to confirm his visits, Wade had felt excitement about seeing him today, but over the weekend the lack of sleep and his usual nagging self-doubts had left Wade confused and nervous and chastising himself for reading too much into the situation. He was usually so good at sizing people up and his instincts were very sharp—except when it came to his romantic life, where he was quite adept at jumping to the wrong conclusions.

  “Just enjoy this for what it is—a nice male nurse helping you out. The fact that he’s tall and cute is just gravy. Don’t embarrass yourself” was his mantra that morning.

  He opened the back door. Joe looked as cute as he had the previous week. Wade greeted him in what he hoped was a normal manner. Joe came into the kitchen and used the phone to clock in. Wade was suddenly aware of Joe’s scrutinizing gaze and, for a brief moment, got the feeling Joe was about to hug him. He quickly dismissed the thought and assumed he had unconsciously swayed from fatigue and Joe was moving to catch him.

  Instead, Joe said, “Where are we off to today?”

  Wade told him the stores they needed to go to for errands. They got in Wade’s Highlander and drove off. The errands took little more than an hour, and Wade felt bad that there was not more for Joe to do. Joe reminded him that part of the home care also involved simply being in the house, as a companion, so he had no problem doing little things around the house or sitting in another room if they did not want to talk with him. Wade laughed at that.

  “Of course we’ll talk to you! Do you think we’d banish you to the kitchen like Cinderella?”

  “I just wanted to give you options,” Joe said.

  When they returned home, Wade’s mother let them in and showed Joe where to put everything while Wade went into the den. He was more tired than he realized, and he hated the thought of looking so worn in front of this man. Sitting down, he felt an immediate desire to sleep, but knew he would not be able to. He closed his eyes and listened to Joe and his mother talk. Joe was asking her about her health issues and what medications she was taking and things like that. Wade noticed that Joe’s tone of voice seemed very genuine rather than courteously professional.

  Wade heard them walk into the den and opened his eyes.

  “I’ve been talking with your mother, and I’m not convinced she’s on the right medications,” Joe said.

  “I’ve wondered about that myself,” said Wade, “but I don’t know enough about medicine to convince her.”

  “She told me her doctor is an infectious diseases specialist,” said Joe.

  “Yes, that’s right,” said Lorraine.

  “I really think she needs to see a Primary Care Physician,” said Joe.

  “I’ve been trying to get her to go to my doctor’s office for six months,” said Wade.

  “Where do you go?” Joe asked.

  “Pride Medical. I figured she wouldn’t w
ant to see my doctor, but there is a female doctor there I think she’d like. Her name’s Wendy Black.”

  “I know her!” said Joe, turning to Lorraine. “She’s really great. Truly. She’s a good doctor. I know some people who work at that office. It’s a great place.”

  “See?” said Wade, looking at his mother with satisfaction. “I’ve been telling you.”

  “Well,” Lorraine hesitated. “I’ve been seeing Dr. Moreland for a long time now.”

  “And you’ve been getting worse as time goes by,” said Wade. “Shouldn’t that be a clue to change?”

  Lorraine looked back and forth between Wade and Joe. “Perhaps you’re right,” she said.

  “Great,” said Wade. “I’ll call them today and set up an appointment for you.” Turning to Joe, he said, “We’d better do this before she changes her mind.”

  Joe smiled and said to Lorraine, “You’ll be glad you saw Dr. Black. She’s very good.”

  Wade stood up, and he and Joe went upstairs to get the number to Pride Medical. Before he picked up his phone to call to make the appointment, Wade turned to Joe and asked, “Would you be available an extra day next week?”

  “I think so, why?”

  “I’d like to go with Mom to her first appointment with Dr. Black. Mom gets so anxious at doctors’ offices that she shuts down. She just listens and nods. She’s from the generation that was taught to keep quiet and do whatever the doctor says. Unquestioned authority. I’d like to be there to help her talk about her symptoms and stuff.

  “Sure, I’ll be happy to take you both!”

  “Good.” Wade was startled by the enthusiasm in Joe’s voice, but put it down to professional perkiness.

  Wade picked up the phone and made the appointment for his mother. Joe used the phone to call his office to schedule himself for that day. They went back downstairs together and told Lorraine. Joe suggested she write down questions and symptoms and anything else she might want to mention to the doctor so that she would not forget anything in the panic of the moment.